Sitting here, writing this review in a sea of cheese crumbs, we wonder how we got into this whole mess. This month, after being run out of the majority of this area’s restaurants, we found ourselves scouring the streets for food from anywhere. Hey, what kind of food reviewers would we be if we reviewed no food?
Larchmont Village Market
209 N. Larchmont Blvd:
Before entering a farmers market, one may imagine it to be some sort of hovel of shabby quality and of unique cleanliness, where one would be lucky to avoid dysentery or something more awful, or at least that is what Roan seemed to think. However, when we saw the Larchmont Farmers Market, the man himself let out a gasp and damn near fell to his knees in the splendor of the place. One word to describe it would be opulent, not unlike a Renaissance statue or large manor. Each stand in the market brought its own grandiose colors and cultures, and for quite a few of them, aromas as well. It was enough to even drown out the gentrified beauty of the surrounding street. It has been said that actually counting an accurate number of stands at this market is impossible due to its scale, professionalism, and the ocean of thirty-year-old women. These vendors knew who they were marketing to, as this was the whitest winter day I’ve seen in Los Angeles, and the most common word spoken was either “vegan”, or “gluten.” “Free,” however, was one of the last words one would hear here.
The sights, sounds, and smells o’ Larchmont are enough to make any man throw down a few dollars for a croissant, and that happened to both me and my partner! They exceeded our expectations in taste, texture, size, and, unfortunately, price — two costing $11.50, as one experienced with farmers markets might expect. Upon biting into his Berrylicious Croissant, Pennoyer’s eyes faced the sunset, and he said “This is it. Et in Arcadia, ego” (Even in Arcadia, there I am). Though the quote has little bearing on the situation he found himself in, the profundity of the saying, and the crowd full of people bustling around, worrying over the material obviously had a profound effect on him, and as he wiped away a tear I could see him begin to come back down to Earth, and forget the Latin he had instinctively chanted just a second earlier.
I was also entranced and enchanted by a marauding cheese merchant. We were walking out of the market, when we came into too close proximity with a man selling fried, cracker-esque cheese. With an impish grin and a lithe motion of the hand, he had some cheese samples in our hands and, with some convincing, I definitely fell under his cheese spell, too. After he told us about the cheese, and I could tell Roan was backing away, I couldn’t deny the puppy dog eyes of the cheese meister, and before I knew it I was $8.50 poorer with five or six cheese disks in hand. The main meal we got was some beef korean barbecue dumplings. Just reading that out I find myself licking my lips with nostalgia. Though they were rather pricey, with ten costing $15, they were also of such a taste and quality that it was hard to stay angry at the small business which had crafted them. l
Atticus’ final rating: “A as in Always there if you want to buy expensive yet good food among the immensely wealthy.”
La Cienega Market
S. 18th Street and S. Holt Ave:
A bleak and desolate farmer’s market landscape is what you may find at La Cienega if you previously visited the Larchmont scene. However, this hidden gem is only five minutes from LACES with a wide variety of quality goods. Need some eggs by the hundred? Look no further. A vendor at La Cienega had more eggs than he knew what to do with. Oh boy. Who knows how he got them? Maybe he laid them.
However, we sought no eggs, and did not invest in his stock. We bought a pupusa, some Japanese bento, and a mystery-priced croissant. I may not be able to retire because of that croissant, however much it cost. Its seller had his pastries laid out like bootleg DVDs. Takes you back. But, it wasn’t the only thing that took us back. We couldn’t help but think of the school cafeteria pupusas as we indulged in pork, bean, and cheese masterclass only available once a week. Only once a week, and that one guy just comes with a thousand eggs or something. Hey, to each their own.
On that note, my colleague and I each got our own chicken skewers from the Japanese stand who were informally on aux for the whole farmers market. Fortunately, they played some smooth tunes as we enjoyed our delicious Japanese cuisine.
If you seek the tastes of El Salvador, Mexico, France, Japan, and more, look no further than 18th and La Cienega, where an unassuming row of tents offer a diverse, vivid selection of fruits, vegetables, and meals.
Roan’s final rating: “B for best farmers market within 2 miles of LACES.”
