The LACES community has been left dumbfounded after Randy the Unicorn, the school’s beloved mascot, was found vaping in the gym bathroom on Monday. Eyewitness, senior Nathan Arriaga, walked into the bathroom during 7th period and found himself enveloped in a cloud of cotton-candy scented vapor.
“I originally thought it was just another kid vaping in the bathroom,” Arriaga said. “That is, until I saw the horn peeking out from above the stall door. I couldn’t believe it. I ran out of the bathroom in complete shock.”
The following morning, Dean Marlon Shows released a Schoology post declaring that Randy would be put on temporary leave.
“It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Randy was found violating the U-House way yesterday afternoon,” the post read. “Until my fellow administrators and I can decide on a path forward, he will be barred from attending all school-sponsored events.”
Later that morning, Randy issued a public apology, promising to take part in the school’s Tobacco Use-Prevention Education (TUPE) program and use his platform to raise awareness about the dangers of underage drug use. The scandal has left the LACES community divided.
“I’m glad Randy’s trying to clean up his act, but I’m just not sure I’ll ever be able to look at him the same way,” said senior Montgomery Glen, wiping away a tear. “It might be time for us to start thinking about a new mascot.” Meanwhile, others are calling for the unicorn’s immediate return.
“This is a huge overreaction,” said sophomore Madeline Kay, president of new student-run organization Justice 4 Randy. “He was caught vaping. So what? He has the entire weight of the school on his shoulders, of course he needed to blow off a little steam.”
For the time being, Randy will be replaced with a student wearing a unicorn costume at sports games and other school events. Only time will tell if Randy can reclaim his status as the symbol of LACES spirit, or if his reputation will forever be tarnished by a cotton-candy fog. But for Kay, the most important worry is something else entirely: “What I’m really wondering is‒ how clean were the O’s?”
