Disclaimer: this test was performed during period 2, where there typically isn’t a tardy sweep. However, I was curious to find out what happens if you are late, even if it’s not a tardy sweep. This investigation was done by a trained professional, do not try this at home!
For those who don’t know, a tardy sweep is when administrators patrol the hallways, in an effort to capture any unfortunate student a couple seconds late to class, and bring them to their evil lair (the table by the green building stairs). But what happens if you’re late, and there is no tardy sweep? Join me as I go undercover as a late student through a bureaucratic system of justice and timeliness, to further investigate this sweep loved by administrators and loathed by students.
9:00 a.m.: It’s a beautiful day out. Not a cloud in the sky, and all around are students talking, laughing, and enjoying themselves. They still have 3 minutes left to get to their classes. Plenty of time.
9:03 a.m.: Interrupting the laughter and conversations of students, a loud noise is heard emitting from speakers around campus. Doors are slammed, and the wardens take to the hallways. Any student unlucky enough to be left outside of their classes had better count their blessings, and their excuses.
9:05 a.m.: The campus is deserted, as all the kids who were just out laughing and conversing with their friends have now gone to their math or science or english classes, learning about algebra or semicolons. Not me though. I’m still in the quad.
9:10 a.m.: Not many administrators are out today, and I’m now completing my fifth lap around the student store. A tumbleweed rolls by. I hear something flying above me, but dismiss it to be my imagination.
9:15 a.m.: To cure the insufferable boredom I am experiencing, I decide to walk through the orange building.There, I again seem to hear a flying noise, followed by what appeared to have been a flash of white coming from the sky.
9:17 a.m.: Walked to the end of the orange building and back. Nothing happened. I think it’s time to go to class.
However, as I’m walking to class, I hear a weird noise from above me. I look up, and notice what seems to be a unicorn! It’s Randy! Before I have time to think, he swoops down and picks me up. As I’m soaring above LACES, I’m wondering where he’s taking me and I’m still very confused. He then drops me, and right before I hit the ground, I am swiftly teleported to the class I’m supposed to be in, where I immediately get to work writing this article. It’s good to be back. Don’t be late- Randy is watching. He’s always watching.
