Police officials discovered a secret room at LACES where, (position), Lana Weimer was found living. Evidence suggests that her residence in the abandoned storage room began at the beginning of the fall semester following her decision to save money by cutting living fees that were unnecessary to her survival and assuming an alternate living quarter that was free of charge.
“The idea came to me in a dream when I fell into a deep sleep after I ate too much,” said Weimer. “In my dream, a wizard with a long beard told me to do it and when I woke up, I had a tear in my eye. The wizard made me do it!”
Multiple sources came forward originally to the administration and then to the LAPD reportedly hearing loud banging and wiring and seeing multiple trails of crumbs which police later announced led to the discovery of the secret room.
The room had a sleeping bag as well as factory-grade heavy machinery inside that Weimer was using to create counterfeit LACES prom tickets that she intended to sell for half the original price to students.
Following her release, Weimer had this to say.
“I’m sorry to anyone who I might have hurt or scared during my time in the room but I will still be selling the tickets so come find me for details.”
