If you’re lonely and need a friend but you want someone that has your back 100% of the time, you need a best friend. But how would you even find a best friend? How would you know they would be by your side forever? First you need your candidates, the roster for your potential best friend. You can find this by going to clubs during lunch that you enjoy, so the other people there have the same interests as you. Once your list of candidates starts to grow, you can go to the next step. Either invite your new friends all at once or one at a time to your house. See which friends act the most comfortable around your parents and in your home. You don’t want a best friend that can’t even be normal with your parents. You can accomplish this by locking your friends in a room with your parents and forcing them to play board games. If they spend enough time together, eventually they have to get along and become friends. The benefit of this step is that your new best friend will be invited to unlimited family trips and vacations. They might even get a room in your house if you reach that level of closeness!
But how would you know that your potential best friend has your back? Get into a physical altercation with someone that you don’t like. Out of your roster of potential best friends, see which one would jump in to help and fight for you. If you don’t think that that’s a best friend, then I don’t know what is. Friends who fight for each other stay together. If this is too difficult to accomplish, don’t worry, there are other options. One of these being wearing a really unflattering outfit. See if your friend tells you, or lets you wear it shamelessly. Some options for outfits include, a paper bag, a full monochrome outfit, or anything neon. If they don’t say anything, boot them out of your roster and forget about them forever. The next step is waiting all the way until your birthday, and seeing which friend gives you the most thoughtful gift. It does not need to be expensive, but it needs to show that the friend knows who you are and only has you in their heart. Then the last remaining friend should become your best friend because your parents love them, they like the same things as you, they would fight for you and they know what you like. That’s when you know you’ve found your best friend.
