On April 15, 2024, LACES Boys Tennis made history. For the first time in eons, the boys tennis team slammed the Palisades tennis back to their infinity pools after each player binge-drank forty cartons of the cafeteria’s 100% Real Orange Juice.
“I felt like I was playing on that high-octane citric acid,” said sophomore Kota Shakuya. “Every ace felt like a trip. It was almost like I was hallucinating with the colors of the court blinking orange and yellow and the ground rippling and all.”
When the Palisades team walked onto the LACES courts, something looked a little different about them. They were there, but they looked pale and ghostly, and it was almost as if one could see straight through them.
“They just seemed off,” said sophomore Vander Delman. “Usually when Palisades walks on the court, we break into a nervous sweat and the odor of urine emanates from our pants. This time though, there was nothing to be scared of, especially with their pet neon yellow armadillos which they rode through the air onto campus while the clouds formed a tunnel to make way for them. Dang, that orange juice really packed a punch.”
To their surprise, the match was a breeze. As serve after serve bounced off the service box without ever coming back over the net, the mighty unicorns could not believe what they were seeing or were not seeing.
“It was a magical moment for me as a coach,” said LACES tennis coach Mr. Philip Chung. “It’s been a journey for me with this team for the past three years. A magical journey. This felt like reaching the end of the rainbow and finding the leprechaun’s pot of gold.”
While LACES tennis was celebrating with ten boxes of Costco pizza, Coach Chung received a call from the Palisades coach, apologizing for not showing up and forfeiting the match.
“I guess our tennis skills were just too high for them,” said sophomore Ian Huang.
*Note: In reality, Palisades Charter High School had rescheduled its match with LACES to April 15th due to rain. While they forgot to show up, CIF did not record the score of the match as a forfeit by Palisades.
So another friend of mine way back when it first came out – we’re talking seven, eight, nine years – a friend of mine was playing it.”
